Saturday, February 02, 2008

A Dollar For A Dream

No hopeful leads on the house yet. I try not think think about it because it can really be an emotional roller coaster.....one day someone wants a tour and I get excited and hope that it is it.....then it turns out to be a dead lead and I get all sad and think we have to move back (Andy looking for a job was very stressful on all of us and I don't look forward to that happening again) and then I go buy a lottery ticket and hope I win (even a small lottery) so that we can afford a down payment on a new house and 2 mortgages until the MN house sells.....but then I don't win and I forget about it all again until we get that next call.....

Sometimes I get too many people asking me about the house and I get really stressed and go buy a lottery ticket. I only buy one and it's only $1, but it at least picks me up a little bit so I can day dream for another day or two about being able to move on & out......and the low after losing the lottery isn't nearly as bad because after a couple days of holding onto that ticket I forget about it until I come across it in my purse.....and then check the numbers and I am usually lucky if I even match one.....and then I throw it in the recycling and it's done....

Some people need crack for their pick me up......I just need to dream a little bit, and buying that $1 lottery ticket allows me lots of dreams for that dollar.....I know I'll never win, but the dream helps.....really, I've spent less than $20 on lottery tickets since we listed the house 8 months ago....depressing....eight months on the market.....It will have been on the market for a year if we move back.....It just twists my stomach all up.....

It's a great house and I really loved it, but it's time to move on -- just seems like the house won't let go of us....

Anyways, I think I need to bundle up the kid now and go buy a lottery ticket....although I don't get to dream very long since the Powerball drawing is tonight....bah! Maybe I'll just uncork some wine and read a sad book and keep the low going until I can buy one tomorrow and then my dollar will buy a few days of dreams rather than a few hours.

**Note: This was originally an email to my dear friend Kendra, but I thought it summed things up well for people and thought I should post it

1 comment:

Tim & Kendra said...

Oh, honey!

Don't worry. I don't think you have gone off the deep end of gambling addiction yet. And besides - your $20 lottery habit is a hell of a lot cheaper than my *undisclosed amount* Jack Daniels habit! :-)

All the same, I continue to hope that you guys catch a break. I am sure it is a huge strain. I can identify with agonizing over something so much that you think your chest my burst, but then waking up the next morning all the same, and doing all the things expected of you.

I guess that is what makes us strong women! And, yes, I still think you are super woman... even if you do need the occassional lottery ticket! :-)

I'm leaving for Denver tomorrow for the week. Not sure how much time I'll get on my personal email, but I'll check back with you as soon as I can!

*hugs*