Tuesday, August 31, 2004

MLAAS 8/31/04

Shane reaches the top of the steps and stops for a second. He thinks to himself, “Did I hear something? He turns for a second and then hears a child yelling for his dad. Shane then snaps back to attention and remembers what he was doing. There was someone on the stairs when he was searching for information about his father. He sees a nurse walking away from him down the hallway. He rushes to catch up with her. He grabs her arm and turns her around.

“Who are you?” he demands.

She looks at him confused and stutters, “I’mmmmmmm Mmmm…arrrrry. Sorry. I’m Mary. I’m new here.”

“What were you doing coming down to the files?” He demands as he tightens her grip on her.

“I’m sorry. I was lost. I just started yesterday and I was trying to find the supply closet to re-stock on bandages.”

“Couldn’t you tell that the place was not a supply closet? I want to know what you were doing?”

She replies back, “I told you I was lost and I saw a light on and thought I would see where I was. And who are you? You are not wearing any hospital identification. Who are you?”

He turns away and thinks, “I wish I knew.”

Miranda steps out of the door carefully and sees Stephanie laying on the ground. Tyler Smith gets out of the car and starts yelling for help. Miranda steps back inside the house so that she is not seen. She watches though a window as Tyler assesses the damage. He sees that there is a lot of blood. He is not sure where it is coming from. He is frantically looking around and shouting for help. He runs back to his car and tries his cell phone and finds that he has no service. Miranda continues to watch. She says to herself, “Hmmmmm……if I wait long enough maybe she will lose enough blood that she will go into shock and then into a coma and then I can make my final move for Jason. We can be married and have the family we both dreamed of. He can have the kids he always wanted and that 2-bit whore could never give him, and I will have him. It will be perfect.”

Just then Tyler runs into the house and says “Didn’t you hear me yelling? I need a phone quick. Someone has been hurt. We have to save her.”

Miranda hands him the phone and watches as he dials 9-1-1. As he hangs up the phone she looks out the door and yells, “Oh my god! That’s my sister. What happened?”

Tyler says to her, “I don’t know. She came running out of no where and then I hit her.”

Miranda half-heartedly hits Tyler in the chest and says, “You bastard. You killed my sister.”

Tyler responds, “I barely hit her. I think the impact of hitting the ground must have caused all the damage. She is still breathing, but she has lost a lot of blood. Just then the ambulance shows up. Tyler runs out to help them. Miranda says to herself quietly, “This is perfect. I don’t even have to do the dirty work myself. This chump can take all the blame.

We see Carol searching though files on a computer at the library. She looks down at a scribbled note in front of her and torn picture and says to herself, “This has to mean something. I don’t understand why the adoption agency had this in my file. They said that my mother died giving birth to me and these were among her possessions in her purse. I have already found out that she herself was an orphan. I wonder if she ever found her biological parents. I wonder if I will ever find my father. I wonder if he even knows about me. This must be information about him. Who was the other person in this picture with my mother?”

Gerald Smith is unpacking boxes in his new home. He thinks to himself, “I need this time to think. Mary has a job and I still need to find one. Stacy is at school and hopefully this new school will be good for her. I hope this move to a small town will protect her. Tyler should be here any moment. I wonder where he is. I am so worried about him. He always falls for the wrong girl. I wonder if we’ll be able to make it here in Smallville. We’ve had to give up so much in Bigcity, but had the company not gone bankrupt I would still have a job and Mary would not have to work full-time and Stacy would not have to leave her friends. I hope we have a good start here.”

Monday, August 30, 2004

WANTED: Family! REWARD: $600

So, doesn't this dude wonder if people really want him or they just want the money.

You know - I actually heard a story very similar to this in church - of all places. I don't go often anymore, had to go a bunch as a kid, and somewhere along I remember actually listening to the sermon and this was the story. Not sure if the guy paid them in the story that the was in the sermon, because that wouldn't have the same effect.

Wouldn't it be really odd if all of a sudden we find out this dude really had kids, but just didn't like them so thought he would find a new family.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Mad Libs Story: Nursery Rhymes

When some ­­__(adjective)__ school students were asked what nursery rhymes popped __(adverb__ into their __part of body(plural)__ or were on the tip of their __part of body(plural)__, these were their __adjective__ answers:

1. Jack and Jill went up the __noun__ to __verb__ a pail of __liquid__. Jack fell down and broke his __noun__ and Jill came __verb ending in “ing”__ after.

2. Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your __noun__ grow? With __adjective__ bells and __adjective__ shells and __plural noun__ all in a row.

3. Three blind __plural noun__, see how they run. They all went after the __noun__’s wife, who __verb (past tense)__ off their __part of body(plural)__ with a/an __adjective__ knife. Did you ever __verb__ such a __noun__ in your life as three __adjective__ mice?

Let's Play Mad Libs

I read this article yesterday about reducing stress in your life. The whole basis of the article is that we felt less stress as children and if we get back to doing some of the things we did as kids we will feel less stress during those moments, because as kids we were living in the moment, laughing, and having fun and not necessarily thinking or worrying about other things. Which – when parents ask their kids after they did something stupid, “What were you thinking?” – they actually are telling the truth when they say they weren’t.

So, the article lists a bunch of things to try doing to relive some of the fun from childhood, and I actually do quite a bit of them from time to time, but the one that caught my eye was Mad Libs. I remember being 13 and filling out those things with friends – of course the fun part was filling it in with vulgar and sexual words. Does Mad Libs realize that everyone does that?

I ran over to the mall and went to the bookstore and found a couple different Mad Libs. I was thinking that I had some upcoming occasions these would be fun for – one being last night at a girls night. We had a lot of fun. We forgot how much fun it was to say hump, tits, and ball hairs.

Wouldn’t it be fun to do a Mad Libs? I will list the word types you need (today) and you can either post them (so, I can read them & laugh) or write them down for just yourself and then I will post the story with the blanks (tomorrow).

Part of the Body (plural):
Part of the Body (plural):
Verb Ending in “ing”:
Plural Noun:
Plural Noun:
Verb (past tense):
Part of Body (plural):

Saturday, August 28, 2004


If senior citizens can celebrate the birthday of toilet paper (link above), maybe I should throw a party to celebrate the birthday of mascara, tampons, or condoms. Anyone know the birthday of those products?

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Myers-Brigg Test

You would think that with what I do for a living I would know my Myers-Briggs Type off the top of my head. I took the test in grad school and didn't really think much of it, but lately I ave had several people talk about the MBT and their type - so I had to go ahead and figure out what I am. so, what are you?

ESFJ - "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 12.3% of total population.
Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test
Extroverted (E) Introverted (I)
Sensing (S) Intuitive (N)
Feeling (F) Thinking (T)
Judging (J) Perceiving (P)
My F barely nudged out the T, so I guess it could go either way on that one.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Tomatoes? This was in Spain. I wonder if my brother-in-law & his family were there. Maybe they were hit with the skunk-bomb and need to wash it off. http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&e=6&u=/nm/mideast_stinkbomb_dc Posted by Hello

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Steph & Miranda fight over Jason. Posted by Hello

Wearing an Orchid

Well, I think for my youngest sister's wedding we are bound to wear some type of flower. When looking at dresses the colors that she was choosing from were either Orchid or Lilac.

So, far this is what we have come up with. The dress linked above. It is a 2-piece with a shawl. It is strapless. The back of the top is neat. It zip up te bottom half and then ties up the top half. There is also a piece of fabric that can be snapped in behind the laces (so that you don't have to show skin there). It's a pretty dress.

Monday, August 23, 2004


I received this as a forward from my friend Jeni. I don't always have time to read forwards, but this one caught my eye and I thought it was hilarious.
In Honor of Stupid People...In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Time to Throw in the Towel

Link above. At what point do you finally say enough is enough and call it quits?


Now - you can have the affects of alcohol & not actually drink it (sounds like smoking something, but instead you are inhaling)


Of course students pay more for beer than for books ( http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&e=6&u=/nm/students_dc ). If you have 4 classes and pay $50 for each class in books - that $200, which is roughly 16 cases of Leine's Original (12 bottles in a case). And there are 16 weeks in a college semester. And 12 bottles in one week in nothing. And if you are going out to the bars, you could spend that $200 in 4 nights at the bars. They are saying that a college student roughly spends $35 a week on booze. Ok - so I guess that is on the high side (at least in my opinion). But if you go to the undergraduate school that my husband went to, you get to check the books out and that is included in your tution (none of this buying books crap). So, I can safely say that I am sure he spent more money on booze than books when he was there.

MLAAS 8/23/04

We start with this week seeing the mysterious couple driving away, when all of a sudden a “fire chicken” car comes swerving across the road. We see the woman covering her face with her elbow and them Wham! It’s all over. We see the front end of the stranger’s car smashed into a tree and their faces against the dashboard. They do not appear to be moving.

In the “fire chicken” we see the door swing open down into the ditch. We look inside and see Chris. He painfully dials 9-1-1. Chris & the strangers are airlifted to Po-dunk Hospital where Chris is told that he will need a blood transfusion because he has lost too much blood. As one nurse takes a sample of his blood to test to see if there are any matches in the system, another nurse begins making calls to his family.

Just as Jason reaches for Steph’s hand, his cell phone rings. He answers it and says in the receiver, “I’ll be there right away.” He ends the call and turns to Steph and says, “I’m sorry. I have to go. I have to be there for my family.” He then turns to Miranda, places his hand over her bulging pregnant stomach and says, “Please call me if something happens. I don’t know what I would do if anything ever happened to our child.”

As he exits, Miranda turns to Steph and says, “See, OUR CHILD! Nothing is ever going to tear him away from me now.”

Steph then says to her, “Just tell me how you did it. How did you trick him into sleeping with you?”

Miranda says, “I didn’t have to trick him, he loves me and this baby and as long as we have a child together you will never be with him.” She starts to rub her stomach and says quietly to herself, “No one will know the real story about your conception.”

Steph turns to leave and Miranda shouts after her, “Where do you think you are going?”

Steph says, “To be with Jason. He loves me and I know he does. I don’t care if you have a child with him. He will never love you. He is only with you because he feels he has to be to be a good father. Jason has always wanted to be a father and when we had troubles conceiving he didn’t think it would ever be possible. Why did you do it? Why did you sleep with him?”

Miranda says, “Because I love him. I have always loved him, even before Shane, but when I found out that Shane was my half brother and we could never be, I knew I had to stop loving Shane the way I did. I loved Shane, more than a sister should, more than I loved Jason – SHUT UP! Why am I telling you this? You are the bitch that can’t hold onto you man or give him the child he wants. I can! And now he’s mine.”

Steph starts weeping. She opens the door and starts running, then we hear her scream and tires squeling

The next scene shows up in this large mansion. We see a guy in a long gray trenchcoat slowly climbing the walk. He rings the doorbell. He is escorted in by a maid. As he removes his coat we hear a low voice say “Is it all taken care of?”

He turns toward the man and we see a thin, lanky (almost skeletal) man with graying hair and long fingers. “Yes, sir. Just as you asked. The brakes were cut just like you asked. I even stayed to watch the accident. I doubt if their were any surviours.”

“Good. There better not be, otherwise you will have to finish the job later. I don’t like things being sloppy. This is a favor for a very important friend of mine. My friend would be very upset if the job was not done right.”

“Don’t worry sir. I will get to the hospital right now and make sure it is finished. If not I will finish it myself.”

(I need another main family to keep the story line going and to keep the characters mixing up, so you will now be introduced to the Smith family.)

We see a family moving in next door to Miranda’s house. It is Gerald and Mary Smith. They have a 17 year-old daughter named Stacy who lives with them, and a 24 year-old son named Tyler who is going to move back in with his parents after his messy engagement to Tiffany left him heart-broken.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Yucky Water.

I read this article in this magazine called "Organic Stlye". The polled 712 different water utilities and then listed the top 25 worst places for tap water. Of course all 712 places polled were in major cities, so those of us having decided to make rural town or susberb our home are out of luck.

Now, as I read this I couldn't help but think about when we lived in Mpls and decided rather quickly to buy bottled water - the tap water there tasted like crap. So, where does Mpls rank? NO. 6! There are 35 contaminents in the water with the primary concerns of lead, copper, radioactivity, bacteria, and disinfection byproducts.

We kept buying water even after we moved from Mpls, and then moved again. We will continue to buy water. It is a federal law that each year in July, your water utilities are supposed to mail reports to all of their customers (to your landlord if you rent). Click on the title to see if your report is listed online.

Other rankings for my friends in other places (or livED in other places):
Santa Fe - 20
Albuquerque - 16
Philadelphia - 13
Orlando - 4
Las Vegas - 18
Boston - 17

The only places with worse water than Mpls are: Eugene, OR; Detroit, MI; Memphis, TN; Orlando, FL; & Burlington, VT.

I know we get our statement about the yucky water here. We have a lot of copper in the water. But the letter they send us is so filled with big words and BS that you don't think that there is anything wrong.

I think I'll just keep buying my bottled water. Plus with the cooler, I have hot & cold water at the push of a level (so I can still be lazy).

How to Save Money......

Ok - here are some links:

http://freecycle.org/ This website will direct you to a Yahoo Group Board for your area (or nearby area). There is one on their for the county I live in. We were able to get rid of some building supplies, our old (but working) treadmill, and hopefully soon - an artificial xmas tree. It doesn't look like there is one that is too near my parents, but Steph & Jason ther is a group in your town.

http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/money/66ways/index.html This is 66 ways to save money. It's actually sponsored by the Consumer Literacy Consortium.

http://americasaves.org/ This website is to help you learn how to save money.

And if you are someone who knows me personally - I can recommend a good financial advisor. We have one and he is great. He gets his clients through referrals, so there is no big marketing campaign that he has to pay for, so he doesn't charge you like make other financial advisors do (American Express charges somewhere around $300 just to sign up) and our guy (Ryan) gives you these free classes to help you learn about all the different investment types and help you plan for your future so you are not stuck wanting to retire and having to work the rest of your life. Just a little plug for him.

Car For Sale

Click Above.

Free Boob Job! Join the Army!

What the hell!?!?!???!

Read the linked story. Why do they need a boob job? And why are WE paying for it? Are they giving free penis pumps to the guys then too? Or what about the military men that want a sex change, will they get a free boob job. There better be some equality here.

"It follows recent news stories about the military offering free plastic surgery, including breast enhancements, to soldiers and their families so military doctors can practice their skills. "

Maybe I should have the husband join the military so that I can get that cellulite sucked out of my thighs. It says "and their families".

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Watch Out Hamms!

Click on the title and read the interesting article.

I wonder if Rainier is interested in buying out the rights to the Hamm's Bear.

And - notice not even a bear will drink Busch. It must not be a college bear.

MLAAS 8/18/04

We start this story with Miranda & Steph involved in a heated argument over Jason. The f-enheinmer is flying, Steph’s dishing out titty twisters, and Jason is sitting around the corner listening to what is going on. Is he going to enter? Miranda keeps saying – he chose to be with me. I am having his child. He left you, deal with it. Jason so deeply still loves Steph, but he just can’t tell her. Steph punches Miranda and in enters Jason to rescue Miranda. He scolds Steph for trying to harm his & Miranda’s unborn child. He is so torn inside as he watched Steph cry and plead with him to come back to her. She says she will forgive him for sleeping with Miranda, but he needs to leave with her now. She reaches out a hand to him. He takes a step away from Miranda and reaches his hand towards her.

Shane struggles with his identity and is uncertain about who is really is. He’s upset that he doesn’t know who his true parents are and cannot understand that my mother did not know about him. Shane decides to don on some scrubs and sneaks around the hospital (Smallville General). After having to assist in a surgery (hmmmmm….wonder how he got these skills) he is able to sneak away and find the records room in the basement. He finds out that the creepy guy was the one who did this impregnation thing and had his scary doctor administer the prenatal exams and the delivery. Turns out that mom never knew she was pregnant with 2 kids, or even that she delivered 2. He finds his birth record that he was born 10 minutes before me. On both our birth records our mother’s name is listed as Trudy. He sees that the administering physician was Scare, E. (Hmmmm…..Dr Scary? E. Scare – what could E Stand for? Who is he?) He looks down on mine and sees that my father is Gary. He looks at his birth father and sees that it is blank. He says out loud “Who Am I?” He hears a sounds and turns quickly to see a shadow around the corner of the stairs. Someone is leaving. Shane thinks to himself – I must follow them. They must know something.

We then see someone in a dark cloak step out from the closet (opposite of the corner by the stairs) after Shane takes after the person on the stairs. This person says in a low voice, “You will never find out who you are.” (Gotta wonder how that person knew Shane would be down there right at that moment.)

Meanwhile, we see 2 new characters packing up luggage. They never show their faces and we wonder they could be. We hear the woman say, “We will be a family.” The guy puts his arm around the woman and says “This time things will be different.” We view the backs of their heads as they drive forward. The woman says “Are we sure we are doing the right thing?” as she puffs smoke out of her mouth. The guy says, “We have to do it and we are going to be different and we need to change, and to start you need to get that thing out of your mouth.” She flicks her cigarette out of the windows and looks to the rearview mirror at the home they are leaving behind. As they drive from the wooded area we see in the corner of the side mirror a blurred figure in the background through that appears to be waving.

Roll credits.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Fair Food

So - the damage has been done. I indulged in the fair food. There were so many choices, but one choice at had my mind set on. That choice was La Tapatia. It is a new local fast food mexican place that had a stand. I wanted to try the food here and see what it was like. It was very good. And I believe they probably had the best deal at the fair. For $2.75 you can get a generous size burrito in either chicken or shredded beef topped with tomato, lettuce, sour cream, homemade salsa verde, and homemade pico de gallo. This was Andy's choice.

Now - if you come to the fair you will notice that most main course items (like gyros, sausages, etc.) are around $6.00, so $2.75 is a deal (plus you are supporting a local restaurant). I had these 4 little rolls stuffed with chicken (2) and beef (2) inside corn and topped with all of the above. That was $4.25. If you are going to our fair, you should check them out. They are kinda out of the way - they are over by the by the animals on the East side of the fairgrounds (almost on your way out on the east side).

Then it was off to try some more ethnic food and we went to the try some Somalian food. For $3.00 we got this little triagle pastry filled with beef, onion, and some spice we could not identify. I wish it has some sauce or something because it was a little dry. It was ok. We decided Mexican was better. Nothing beats fresh authentic Mexican food.

Next stop - Andy wanted a deep fried Twinkie with chocolate sauce. This was $3 and was in the main food corridor. After he ate this I don't think the only white creme was in the Twinkie. I had a bite and it was fantastic.

But I needed dessert and I wanted to check out the vendors. So, we went in the eastern most vendor building and came across Wagner's Wagon. The are in the SE corner of this building. For $2.00 you get this little pie tin with pastry on the bottom, fruit in the middle (they have a variety of fruit, but I had raspberry) and topped with this custard stuff and baked. WoW! This is excellent and another very good deal at the fair. We shared this one.

Our final purchase that we shared was vanilla ice cream from Nitro Ice Cream. This is in the western vendor building and is also in the SW corner. For $2.50 you get 2 scoops of this perfect vanilla ice cream either in a cup or a cone. It is made right there and they do this fast freeze using Nitrogen. I guarantee you never had ice cream like this before. We had this last year too and it is fan-freaking-tastic. They give free samples.

So - after 6 different items we spent a grand total of $17.50. If you don't mind having to walk several blocks (maybe up to a half mile) then you don't have to pay for parking. And if you plan ahead and bring a water bottle to drink out of (you can fill it up inside the vendor buildings at a couple of the water vendors like Culligan). And bring a backpack to acquire any of the free goodies that the vendors are passing out.

My vendor freebies include: Multi-vitamins, contact case, contact solution, and glasses wiping fabric, & pen (all from Wal-Mart), pencil (from the No Smoking Group), a freaking huge pen (from the American Residential Mortgage), a nice pen, post-it's, outdoor kit (band-aids & suncreen), a baby cough syrup dispenser (all from the Hospital), a chip clip (from the Church of Christ), and soap (from Norm's Water Systems), and several pieces of candy (many vendors have the courtesy candy dish out).

So - if you are coming this way. Come enjoy the fair. We'll probably go back one other night at least. As today is opening night and it is here until Sunday. And hopefully we made you hungry for some food and gave you some ideas on how to save a little money on your fair trip.

And if you are looking for the traditional fair foods - they are all there - the pronto pups, the deep fried cheese curds, the cotton candy, the slushies, the malts, the blooming onion, carmel apple, footlong hot dog, corn dogs and all the other favorites. Plus there are the new favorites like the deep-fried cheesecake, alligator, chocolate dipped bananas, some deep friend peanut butter stuff and much more. Click on the title to bring you to the fair website with the food listings.

Being Fat.

Before I even begin I guess I should do everyone the courtesy reading this to warn them that this post will most likely be very LONG and brutally honest.

I couldn't help but think about what it means to be fat while I painstakingly worked out this afternoon. I was very disgruntled by the continued appearance of cellulite. I swear it grows and never leaves. How the hell do you get rid of that shit without resorting to having it surgically removed? We all have it. Admit it finally. Curse you if you actually don't have it and curse you twice if you do have it and still continue to deny it. I remember seeing those dimples on my ass when I was in high school, although then there wasn't as many (or maybe there was and I was denying their existence and cannot accurately recall how many there were). But it's when they start spreading down your thighs that it really starts to piss you off. And how come you don't see the cellulite on guys' thighs? Do they really not have any cellulite? Or is it that all that hair on their legs is covering up the unsightly dimples? Which do I think is more unattractive on a woman, cellulite or a full leg hair? For now I think I will stick with the cellulite, but if it gets much worse I may have to re-think my answer.

I don't want any of this "You're not fat." crap on this blog comments. I am not looking for that. If I were fishing for a compliment I would have just stated that right off the bat. Plus, I know and you know when someone complains about his or her size you are SUPPOSED to say, "You're not fat." Would it hurt us to tell the person that they need to lose some weight? And the answer to that is - Yes! It would. How would it hurt us? Well, secretly we all relish in the thought that someone has gained weight or that they are now bigger then us. If we told them the truth that we thought they had gained weight and maybe didn't look quite as attractive, then they might actually do something about it and we are back to being the fat friend.

Don't tell me that you don't secretly wish people to get fat and are secretly green with envy when the get thinner! Don't tell me that at all because I know you are lying. I know I am not the only person out there that is like this. I know this because I may be the friend you turn to, to gossip about how someone just gained weight - after you just told him or her that they are not fat. I know this because EVERY comedy TV show that has an episode about going to a high school reunion will acknowledge these same facts. We watch it and laugh because we know it to be true, but we don't openly admit it. We won't admit we actually feel this way because it makes is a bad person who is petty about appearances.

I have to admit that I was even jealous that my mother-in-law lost so much weight and secretly wished that she would gain a few pounds back. But then I had to tell myself to get over myself and be happy with the fact that she is thinner and healthier than she has been the entire 7 years Andy & I have been together, because that means my future children will have a healthier grandma and she'll be around longer for them. So - I was able to reconcile that her getting thinner was ok, but someone not in my family - hmmmmmm......maybe.

So, I started this exercise program of cardio & weight lifting 4 times a week about 6 weeks ago. I'd love to say that I really wanted to exercise, but it's not that. I got on that damn scale and took some body measurements that made my heart sank. I have not been this heavy since I gained my "Freshman 15" and then some. Dammit! It went on Sooooooooo Easy. I could not believe how much weight I gained and now I understood why my clothes were getting tighter. Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

Oh! I'll never tell you what I weighed at the moment when I got on the scale or what my measurements. I'll probably never mention a number regarding my size until I reach a satisfactory weight (which I won't even tell you what that it because I know there are some of you out there that will do some calculating in your head to figure out just how fat I am.)

The exercises have been going fine. I am starting to seem some intonation in my arms, although that stubborn cellulite on my thighs and hips are not going anywhere. I decided I had to start exercising because like most females out there I have tried most of the diets out there. Some work for a little while - but then I want to eat again. Others have been more successful, but if I am being really honest with myself I know those times were also times when I was exercising and when I tried just the diet again, but this time alone - it didn't work so well. My only conclusion is that the only thing that truly works for me is exercise. Man - that sucks! Because there are days when all I want to do is veg out.

And for me - it's an all or nothing thing - I have to exercise those 4 days each week and if I don't I give in to those excuses and then it is easier to give in to all the excuses and never get back on that machine.

After gloating last night about starting to get buff, I asked Andy last night if he was afraid that I would get too strong and be able to beat him up. And he told me "No, because I know sooner or later you'll stop doing this." And he's right -- he's known me for 7 years and knows that I will get sick of it. I am already starting to get sick of it. I need to vary it up a little and I haven't quite figured out how I am going to do that yet.

You know - I am sincere when I tell people that they look good. I really don't like to lie to people. And when people are fishing for compliments and are saying "I'm fat." I like to ask, so what are you going to do about it if you feel fat. Then I get the answer from some people of "nothing" or "I don't know", and then there are some that actually have a plan. I will give people a compliment (and mean it) if it comes un-prompted. You know - no fishing.

What's even worse that those fishers is the people who are thin (or at least thinner than you) saying they need to lose weight or are telling you about their diet. Nothing like a slap in the face there, because inside you know they are thinking "She should go on a diet too", but of course their ego will never let them tell you that because they want you to be fatter than them. They need that fat friend because then they get more attention when you go out - you know it's true. The thin friend gets more attention over the fat friend. And I am not just talking about from guys here - we're talking both sexes. People seem to value your opinion more when you are thinner -- there are even statistics to show that fatter people get paid less. The fatter you are the less you get paid. Seems ironic doesn't it - because the fatter you are the more you probably eat and need more money to buy food, but have less money to start with.

And you know - I write all this as I salivate at the prospect of going to the Fair tonight and tasting what delectables they have there this year. Not sure I will really be able to enjoy it knowing how hard I have to work to get rid of it and that it will probably cause my cellulite to spread even more.

So - where does that leave me? I need to exercise and am starting to look buff in my arms, but am frustrated that I can never again show myself in a swimsuit because of the unsightly cellulite I detest, fishers drive me nuts as do skinny people on diets as do fat people who won't do anything about their condition (obesity is a disease you know!), and I am left to try to become a better person and not relish in those extra pounds someone else puts on and to get rid of that envy when they do lose a few pounds.

Somehow I have a felling that this won't be the only post where I rant about fat. You know - the F-word.

Monday, August 16, 2004


So - this morning as the thunder & lighting was doing it snap, crackle, & pop I couldn't help think about perception. I was thinking about that when I was about 7, the storms seemed to go on forever. And I wasn't sure if the storms were really longer when I was 7 or if I just wanted to be outside so much that it seemed to go on forever.

The same goes for snow. I remember there being so much more snow growing up and now there doesn't seem to be all that much (I should knock on wood, because now I am just asking to get hammered with snow this winter).

I remember when I was young, I used to love trying on my aunt Mary's shoes when she would babysit us. The favorites were her heels. I think they were really only a half inch heel, maybe an inch heel. I don't think she had much taller than that. But as a kid that was huge! And her feet were huge - they aren't really but when you are a kid sticking your stocking toes in there they certainly seem huge. I laugh at the fact that I thought they were huge, because now I wear a size 10 (as does my sisters and mom) but my aunt Mary only wear about a size 7.

Also - when I go back to a place I spent a significant time as a child - the places just don't seem as big anymore -- my grade school, the duplex we lived until I was in 5th grade that my youngest sister now lives in -- all seemed to much larger. It's almost a shock when you go back and they just are not as big as you remember.

Now - if I thought those things were much larger and last much longer - I can just imagine what my nephews or any friends' kids think when they come over here. We're living in this huge house with 4 levels and so many doors that most adults get lost. Andy is 6'4 with a size 14 shoe (which is definitly above the average) and I am 5'7 and wear a size 10 shoe (again - above average).

I found this on the USAtoday.com website:
American women, on the average, wear a size 8-wide shoe (American men: size 10.5) — Approximately 68% of American women wear shoes between the sizes of 6.5 and 9.5.
Average height for women: 5 feet, 4 inches (163 cm). About 68% are between 5 feet 2 inches and 5 feet 7 inches.
Average height for men: 5 feet, 9 inches (174 cm). About 68% are between 5 feet 6 inches and 5 feet 11 inches.

What are those kids thinking when they come to our place - it's like giants living in a giant house.

My friend Alicia tells the kids at school that I live in a mansion - it's not really a mansion - but she's like 5'3 (could be shorter) and I suppose from her perception it might look more like a mansion than from way up here.

Perception is a tricky thing, but interesting.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Sittin' On My Ass

I think I am getting ass sores. I have been sitting on it so much today. I have spent over 6 hours already trying to get my palm up-to-date. Apparently my old software was too ancient that nothing could be updated and when I installed the new stuff it just decided to delete all my shit. 4 years of shit to be exact. Names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, birthdays, anniversaries - all once there at the click of a button now just a figment of my imagnation.

I had even stopped updating the paper rolodex 2 years ago because I didn't think I would really need it. Technology was not supposed to punch me in the gut, knock me down, and start jumping on top of me. You know the old saying - can live with it, can't live without it. I don't know what I would do without my laptop & PDA. I certainly couldn't blog about it and I'd have to go back to the trusty old way of journaling my thoughts and writing letters for communication. I used to rely on paper so much - now it's just little eletrical impulses that keep me going and in touch with everyone.

Once in a while I will send off a letter or a postcard to someone. Usually to those friends that live far away. I like to be able to let them know that our relationship isn't soley electronic and I will spend sometime actually trying to remember what my cursive handwriting looks like.

You know - that makes me think of my friend Tim - when I went to visit him and Kendra we talked about his new hobby of interpreting handwriting -- what happens when we forget how to write much more than our own signature. Luckily we still need that (for at least a little while) to sign out credit card slips (certainly don't need real paper money when you can do it electronically), but if you buy everything online you will never have to write your signature.

I guess I won't be investing in any stock for paper companies any time soon. Although - when you think about paper consumption - I give the impression that it is going down - but the amount of junk mail seems to steadily be increasing.

And how many sheets of toilet paper do you use? That's a good question. What are you supposed to use? What is the recommended amount of sheets of toilet paper? Does it matter what the thickness is when you determine how many sheets you use? Are we using too much toilet paper? I think these days some of us have too much and so we waste stuff that we might take for granted, like good ole toilet paper. How many of us are using 10 sheets when we only really need 4 (is 4 too much?) So, next time you are on the toilet sittin' on your ass - think about that.

Maybe investing in a paper company is a good idea.

Monday, August 09, 2004

MLAAS (My Life As A Soap) 8/9/04

The rest of the family……..

So- as you might have been able to deduce, Tony does not have any magical powers and that was he was created in a laboratory. We will find out more about this in a later story. All I can say is that the creepy guy had a hand in on this and slightly changed his DNA so that he would not have any magical powers from Dave. But the family secret that Candy holds makes him just as potentially dangerous or good as the rest.

So – in my soap life (as in my real life) I have 3 sister-in-laws. Ana is my sister-in-law that lives out of the country with Brian and they have a son Andres (all true so far). Andres is 6, but give him a year or 2 and he’ll be 18 in no time (remember – this is a soap and kids age quickly – or slowly - to fit the storyline). Ana is from a large family (again truth here – and the ability to add in more characters). And of course we will find out later how the creepy guy has unknowingly affected her.

Now, there is Lisa. She has a long history with Chris (truth again here – but now comes the un-truths), but that was broken up because she needed to marry a guy in order to seal the deal between their families. All the while she was married to this guy she pined away after Chris. It really pissed this guy off that he knew that Lisa was always thinking of Chris. This ex-husband’s name was Phillip. He is a very powerful man and set out to destroy Lisa & Chris’ life because his own vanity prevents him from acknowledging that Lisa never loved him and has only loved Chris. I should be interesting to see what kind of things Phillip does to break them up and make them miserable. In that family is also Travis. People think he is small for his age, but really his age is being held up so that he can be the same age as Andres – because then they can hang with the same crowd through school (yes, that means Brian & Ana will have to move back to the country) and later the 2 of them will fall in love with the same woman and be at odds.

And my third sister-in-law in Carol. We don’t know much about her and think she is an orphan. She moved into the area and met Tony when she rear-ended him with her car upon her first week living in the area (see it would not make sense for her to live her for a while and then meet, and also making her an orphan – or us at least believing her to be an orphan – allows me to bring other characters into the stories as her long-lost relatives or find a way to make her related to current characters in the story).
Now – we understand that the many families in my soap life are the Shallow’s & the Miller’s. And we have the bad guys which are the creepy guy and the sorceress (which their identity has not been revealed as of yet). So – now let’s begin the “Life of our Days”. Roll credits.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

To Gaze at the Moon

Yes, that is a picture of Andy mooning me. He did this at Minneopa Falls this weekend. What a guy!

The Moon Posted by Hello

Thursday, August 05, 2004


I saw this book referenced on someone else's blog
The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure (Ultimate Everything!!!)

You can buy all these on Amazon.

And here are some other's listed with it:

The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure (Ultimate Everything!!!)

Five Minutes to Orgasm Every Time You Make Love: Female Orgasm Made Simple

The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm

How to Be a Great Lover: Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Totally Explicit Techniques that Will Blow His Mind

How to Have an Orgasm...As Often As You Want

How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure: Totally Explicit Techniques Every Woman Wants Her Man to Know

Understanding the G-Spot and Female Sexuality: A Simple 10-Step Guide for Unleashing the Ultimate in Female Ecstasy

Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking: The Ultimate in Female Ecstasy


And on a different note - I am reading "The Devil Wears Prada". Very interesting. I like it a lot. It is fiction, but it could be someone's real story.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

My life as a soap. Ctd.

I am procrastinating from vaccuming......so I thought I would continue on with my imaginary soap life. Actually - I was thinking that there are some people that I could wite about that do have lives this crazy - maybe in an anonymous blog.

I kinda went through one side of the family tree in my soap life - now for the other side. I just hope no one takes this shit personally. I am just making this crap up and it in no way reflects how I actually think or feel about them. It's all just good fun. Now with that said - on with the show.

When we left the other day, there was Andy-bot and Andy the Ford mechanic. I think I need to fill you in on his family. So, Andy-bot was created by this sorceress (we still have yet to figure out who the sorceress and the creepy guy are - it's what keeps people coming back - trying to figure out who they are). The real Andy is a product of Candy & Dave Miller, as well as Brian & Tony, but Chris - well the dark hair should have given it away that he was not really theirs. So, who is Chris?

See - what happened was they Chris (& Aaron) were switched at birth. Aaron is really Candy & Dave's 2nd kid. We'll find out more about Aaron in a later episode, because right now we have enough of a storyline that we don't need to bring him in. Now - was it the nurses who did the switch? No, of course not. It was the sorceress & the creepy guy. If you haven't figured it out yet, they are in cahoots.

See, there are magical powers within the Miller family and they need to remove them from their family as much as possible. Now, not everyone has these powers & not to the same extent, because remember - Candy is not a Miller, so they have her genes as well which do not include the magical powers. Aaron & Andy have the most powers of the children and so they needed to be removed, because their power is only as great as the sum of them.

The storyline that will be reveled later is that Dave is the only product of his mother & father and his other siblings have different parents (ok - so some stuff is true, sometimes I work with what I got) and we will be able to deduce that it was his father that was indeed magical and get this - he was a warlock! He was the brother of the sorceress. Dave inherited these powers, but because he was raised in a non-magical family (sound like it is turning into Harry Potter now) he never realized he had these powers and he won't until the true identity of the sorceress is revealed and he has to fight her.

Now - one might think that Andy & Aaron couldn't be that powerful - but you would be wrong. They don't know of their powers for the same reason Dave does not know of his powers. And they still have their mother's genes. Now - she might not be magical - but in a later episode you will find out why Dave & Candy's kids could either mean the end of all evil - or just the beginning of it.

Now - the older brother, Brian, has some powers and he just thinks is that he is psychic, but he's not living in the country (see, some more truth to work with) so he is not with the rest of the family and does not interfere with the plans of the sorceress. Some day he will need to return because Aaron will have been involved in a very bad accident (could this have not been an accident?) and will need some new bone marrow and Brian will come up in the computer system as a perfect match. After some more investigating they will find out that Aaron & Chris were born at the same hospital on the same day. And guess, what! Aaron is a tall blond - go figure. Could they have been switched? No shit sherlock!

Will the Miller's welcome Aaron with open arms? What will Chris do? Will he try to find out who his real parents are? And who will they be? That should be interesting - because I didn't tell you that Aaron was given up for adoption - he never went home with the person that gave birth (to Chris). And what about Tony - is he magical?

ok - that's enough for today. I still got Miller spouses to get in this -- and I have something planned for Brenda & Ray as well. Teehee! Using my imagination is fun.

Everything is going to be OK.

So - looks like I am going, not staying. And I am ok with that. So - watch out high school - here I come. It will be interesting to work with high school kids and to just see how they work.

I got my kitchen cleaned and Andy finished replacing some plumbing in the kitchen (which needed to be fixed) and in a bathroom on the 2nd floor (which didn't need fixing, but we wanted to put in a new faucet and then decided to replace more of the plumbing there).

Right now I am re-modeling the bathroom (the one on it's own ont he 2nd floor - Andy's bathroom). Actually - right now I am typing this as I sit in the massage chair. That bathroom was too girly for Andy - so now instead of pinks and flowers we are going for blues and boats. I had to remove that wallpaper I had put up 3 years ago - shit! removing wallpaper is a pain in the ass. I believe I put in a total of 4 hours just removing the wall paper from that room. The only wall paper left in this house are borders - oh wait - one room has that paintable wallpaper - but that shit is staying there. And I put this stuff around the tub surround - which took 2.5 hours, only because I had to cut nearly every tile, but it looks nice.

I am going to re-finish the cabinet in there - painting it white and probably will put new hardware on it. We're putting in a new light fixture (which Andy had to do some re-wiring for) and a new medicine cabinet (was just a mirror there before) and painting it. Also getting a new shower curtain & hooks, and some new decorations. It should look nice when it is all finished. I primed the walls today.

School starts on 9/1, but for staff we have meetings during the last 1.5 weeks, and when you work in Special Ed. they seem to be all throughout the month of August.

So - there is not really much summer left to enjoy.

Friday, we leave to go camping for 2 days and that's about it for the rest of our summer plans.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Nothing too interesting.

Nothing too interesting to report today. I went to the dentist today and "Look mom! No cavities!"

I also stopped by the outlet mall to see what was up there. And they have a bunch of new stores on the south side. A new store that says it will open soon is "Xtreme Bridal". I imagine it will be open within 3 weeks when the group comes out to look for bridesmaid dresses.

Tonight we are going to a wake for a neighbor that lives a few houses away. He was 59 years old, but had a bunch of health problems. We didn't know him too well, but we are going to go out of respect. For those of you that know my neighbors - it's not any of the front neighbors or the back neighbors. This is the first funeral we will have gone to down here, actually I think this is the first funeral I will have gone to that was not in WI. It seems a little weird for me.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Lucy all grown up. Posted by Hello

Lucy fighting with a toy. Posted by Hello

Larry as a kitten. That turned out to be tar on his nose, he has no black spot there. Posted by Hello

Larry having a beer. Posted by Hello


I was trying to figure out how to post pictures. So, below is some pictures of the cats. Looks like I figured it out - but I couldn't really tell you how I did it. I just was going through multiple things following directions. It should be interesting once I go back and try to do it again.

LINK CHANGE! Please note.

I will send out email notices to people. I don't know if you can access it through the old url or not. I thought if I change it I will be more anonymous to people that don't know that this is mine. Understand.

It looks like you can still access it through the old url - but I don't know how long that will be.

It's "Life of Our Days" or I guess it could be "Life o Four Days"

Maybe that is the name of my soap opera life - since my family's made up antics seem to mimic Days of our Lives - mine will be Life Of Our Days.

If you click on LINK CHANGE - it acutally brings you to the link. Anytime you see the dots by the title means that you can go to an external link.