Monday, August 23, 2004

Stupidity

I received this as a forward from my friend Jeni. I don't always have time to read forwards, but this one caught my eye and I thought it was hilarious.
**********************************************************
In Honor of Stupid People...In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

2 comments:

Kinky Phanie Gates said...

The last one about the chainsaw was twisted...just one of those things that quickly flashes through your mind and makes you laugh! Poor unfortunate soul!

~Stephanie

Lame Shrill Owl said...

I also saw an ad for those spray-on panyhose that said"Water-Resistant until you wash them off" What the hell? Then they are not water resistant.