Blah!

I feel bad....I went to a home party my friend had, it was CAbi party....they have cute clothes and some of them look so great on, not to mention that the sizes run big, so you wear a size 2 sizes smaller than normal. Anyways, I had to leave w/o buying anything. She just bought stuff from my home party and I was planning on buying as much as she did, but this CAbi stuff is quite expensive, at least more than I am willing to pay. I don't pay $89 for a pair jeans. I tried on a few of the cheaper (not cheap by any means - we are talking $30 for the cheapest item which was a thin, kinda see-thru tank top). I couldn't do it. I tried on things that cost more, but again, I couldn't justify paying that much for something. I apologized to my friend and told her I couldn't afford anything. I was talking about it with some other friends before I said anything to her and I was doing all I could to not crying...bless their hearts they were trying to justify for me why I couldn't afford it, but I didn't want to be reminded that we will in essence be homeless in a few weeks and in a few weeks more Andy could be out of a job.

The clothes have very flattering cuts and I can see how people can get swept away in purchasing items when all their friends are telling them how great they are. I almost bought this skirt for $79, but that is a lot of groceries. And it was too dressy to wear to often.

Then my bad habit of mentally comparing sizes came back to me. And I should have been hapy putting on something that was 2 sizes smaller than normal, but I just felt blah! because several others were another size smaller. How petty, can't I get over that stupid high school and college mentality of the "size"?

So, I left the party feeling like crap, like I am poor & fat. I want to cry.