Sunday, January 23, 2005

Dumb Ass Ways to NOT Break the Law

If you are going to break the law and get caught, then be a dumb ass about it so that we have something entertaining to read about in the paper and talk about it at work. Here are the Dumb Ass Ways to NOT Break the Law:

1) If you are going to steal beer, don't pass out at the scene.

2) If you are going to be transporting drugs, don't commit minor traffic violations.

3) If you are going to pass yourself as an actor, make sure you know what country they are from.

4) If you rob someone, don't call them back and ask for a date.

5) If you are in prison, take what you get. Beggars can't be choosers.

6) If you are going to sue Mc Donald's, make sure they don't have a reason to counter sue.

7) If you are working security at an airport, make sure you don't get caught stealing. Who is the security from airport security?

8) If you don't want to get arrested for animal cruelty, then don't bring a van full of sick & dead animals to the police.

9) If you want to keep your kid, don't dangle them out of a window. You are not Michael Jackson and don't have the money to pay many lawyers to get you out of trouble.

10) If you are going to chase down a bus because they forgot your kid, you might as well just drive them there yourself. Don't be such a Dumb Ass!

1 comment:

Meow said...

Oh my God. I never laughed so hard.

The third guy is really really a dumb ass. To go through all the bother of a fake passport etc and not know Bruce was American. DUFUS!